The Flood Gates

         They say if you open your heart to Hashem the size of a pin-hole, He will open flood gates for you. This concept was taught to us at the very beginning of school. I guess because it relays the message of willingness. If you are willing to let Gd into your life, however small, he will enter and open your eyes wide, as long as your willing to see. I think my pin-hole was returning to Jerusalem and Succos was the gate.

          The intermediate days of Succos, Chol Hamoed, were relaxing. I mulled around town and campus just enjoying being in my bed. But what was really awesome was the Shemfest concert that took place in Beit Shemesh. I was front row for one of the bands, Moshav, which I have been listening to for years. It was pretty sweet to see them live in Israel. While there, I also ran into more of those "becoming religious faux pas" moments. As we got there, I was confused by the tarps dividing the area in front of the stage. After realizing all I saw were boys dancing, singing, jumping, and moving about, I realized it was a mechitza (a mechitza divides the men and women's side)! I have never seen a mechitza at a concert, but it was a cool experience being able to dance and jump around in public, despite the religious demographic. Another moment was when Yehuda Solomon (the lead vocalist) jumped off of the stage, maybe a meter away from me. I've been to concerts before... why wasn't he slapping hands? He runs over to the other side and starts high fiveing the guys. OH, shomer niggiah! Haha. Silly things like this made it not only a ballin' concert but a cool experience.

          For the last days of Succos, I had a wonderful time. I not only stayed by Rabbi Refson for the first days and slept by the wonderful women I had previously posted about, but for the last days of hag I was sleeping in the Old City! This great family let me come for two of the meals at their apartment, which overlooked the main square in the Old City. It's one thing to be in beautiful NYC overlooking the Hudson and Manhattan. It's another thing entirely to be in a city carved of stone, 4,000 years old, and holier than any other place in the world. Then, I slept down stairs at a Rabbi's house. I ended up chatting with him over breakfast/kiddush and we swapped stories. I was telling him about the stuff I particularly find interesting to read... kabbalah concepts, chassidus, and moral aspects. He ended up being the author of books like the ones I find enjoyable to read! He handed me a book and gave it to me as long as I passed it around. I finished it (it was really good!) and now there's a list of girls waiting for it. Just when you think things can't get better...

          During the last days of Chol Hamoed, Shmini Atzeres, and Simchas Torah (the last days of Succos) I davened (prayed) at the Kotel. I even decided to walk from where I live, an hour and a half away, to the Old City the day after hag- just because it was so powerful. When I first approached the Kotel, two years ago, it was a fascinating piece of history. But now, as a religious Jew, it is a symbol of the future and hope. I never understood the people who davened there with such great intensity. The ones who cried bewildered me. By the third day davening there, tears welled up. I finally felt like this place represented a yearning I personally have for the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdash. The hope that one day my children will see peace and prosperity and Truth in the world. And the day after I left the Old City (on my Simchas Torah) I had the weirdest dream; I was at the Kotel. So the next day, despite my apprehension for walking there a fifth time, I went. While I was there nothing particularly interesting struck me. That is, until I got to the middle of the Amidah (the central prayer in Judaism). A young woman had made it to the Wall next to me. She started crying, profusely. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her kissing the wall, touching it, running her fingers over the cracks and dips. And in her hand was a smaller one. She leaned in so her young baby could feel the wall, kiss it too. I couldn't help but watch as she cried and held her baby. I think she also wishes her child will see the day when the Temple stands and when there is peace, tranquility, and Truth in the world.

           The last meals I had were a mix between at the school and at two of the school "mothers." My Rebbetzin, the one who set up my amazing Succos, had me for dinner on Shabbos. And our Rakezet had us for the last meal. By Havdallah, which recognized the end of Shabbos and the last of Succos and three-day hagim, I realized this was the most amazing experience I could have asked for. The floodgates are open.