Monday, October 10, 2011

Black Board

          I feel like those ancient black boards where at the start of every class we wiped the board clean, with dust still shimmering in the air. Nothing is forgotten entirely, just pushed aside for more room to grow and move forward. Forgiven. Yom Kippur.

          Viduy, with true kavana, breached my lips and heart. I am embarrassed and regretful for sins and transgressions that I have done. It's very hard to accept wrong doing, it's a strike against my pride. But more so, against the humanity within me that recognizes that I may have hurt other people. And with that I felt a deep sense of connection to Yom Kippur this year, when I am at the point of my life where I am trying to grow the most. Being in seminary with big aspirations to learn and grow as a Jew, I can attest to the humility shown by sincere conviction which screams, "I can change. I can become better. There is always better. I will move forward." And I am grateful for this. Yom Kippur, despite the hungry stomachs and depressing atmosphere, has a true and subtle happiness knowing we are allowed to start clean.

           There may still be chalk and dust in the air, but I believe the remnants of the black bored adds a kind of beauty. It shows nothing is forgotten, only forgiven. It shows we all came from someplace and are going somewhere.

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