Last Day of School

I haven't a single regret.

I can't say I didn't get what I came for. I can't say "I wish I did," "I wish I didn't," "Why couldn't I have," or the likes. I did what I came here to do: I found Truth. More specifically, I found out just how little I know. Better still, I found out what I have to look forward to learning for the rest of my life!

I'm sure you're all familiar with my "becoming religious story" and even if not, at least you will know this piece.  I first came to Michlelet Esther in September with no idea of anything. I knew I was on a righteous quest to find Truth and commit myself to what ever it was. And over the last year, I have transformed from the "Unorthroprax Baalat Teshuva" into an orthodox Jew. I am as unique as my person, but I am no longer "unorthroprax" (fully believing but not practicing). I am no longer the flaming Baalat Teshuva fighting for independence as my real test and having religion as my cause. I no longer feel in the dark about my Jewish past, either, no longer having to censor what I can ask about Torah for fear of not getting a suitable answer. I can ask any Rabbi and they will find me an answer that sits well with me, even if they have to come back a few days later or try ten different ideas.

This year has provided me with a solid foundation for my Jewish studies in the coming years, but as I have previously mentioned in a prior blog, this year has adjusted my glasses prescription. I see the world through clearer, blue-and-white stained eyes. While I don't feel like I have really changed, I do know I see the world in a different way. This is what motivates me to prioritize my life a bit differently and reevaluate where I once stood. I'm not sure what I will be up to for the next couple of weeks I have left in Israel, however I know that now classes have ended, I am ready to start living my life the best way I now know how.