Back Home With New Expectations

      I arrived home in Eretz Yisroel at seven a.m.! The flight was easy, B”H, and the jam-packed slightly-concerning shuttle ride to Jerusalem was survivable. After about 40 minutes of watching the beautiful hills rolling, topped with buildings, I hit the campus of Neve. I was met by warm faces and helpful women, while being dropped off with all my luggage. Luckily, they were more than happy to help me to my dorm. But, as I entered my dorm, I became a little unsettled.

     Michlelet Esther seems to be populated with girls going in the opposite direction of me. I wasn’t really sure what to think. I came here to learn and become religious, while the first girl I met seemed to have very different motives. Once I got most of my room in order I left to the orientation. This is when I was asking myself, is this right for me? The rabbis were extremely nice and well spoken, but the goal of this program seemed to differ from my expectations. For example, Rabbi Winter mentioned if you’d like to daven in the morning than it’s your choice to do it alone, but they aren’t “going to force you to.” I was sitting there thinking to myself what are you talking about?! I came here to learn how to daven, not to be told to do it alone if I wanted to do it. This made me question if I could reach my potential during the year here.

     Luckily, as I came back to my dorm, I met my roommates and felt a lot more at ease. I got my tie-die Coexsist tapestry up on one wall, and my 70-some-what photos on the adjacent one. Meanwhile, mingling with my roommates I realized one of them had the exact same concern. She came from a modern-orthodox background and was interested in the academics because she’d grown up going to public school. Score! We quickly promised to get a tutor and study together. Then, our other roommate who had just switched in had really put us at an advantage. She grew up religious and detested it. But she said as she graduated from high school, she decided to attend seminary because she wanted to discover pride for her people. We are a very mixed three, but with very similar and compatible goals, I have a feeling this year may be exactly what I need.

    …Oh, and it helps all three of us like metal and punk rock…